I wonder if I'll be able to walk tomorrow...

Tonight was my first real 50 minute strength training session at the gym. Wow. WOWOWOW. It's funny how you never realize how terribly weak you are. I can rock out on a cardio machine for an hour and survive... but 50 minutes of squat rows, lunges, step up/bicep curl, squat to press, super man, planks, hamstring curls... Really, she didn't push me harder than I was ok with and we took a minute break here and there to get water, get my RPE down, etc. I'm super excited to keep doing this and have it get EASIER. Wait, then she'll find new stuff for me to do. AHH! I still heart her though. I want her butt.

Nutrition wise... this has been a baaad week. I had a few surplus days, ate a lot of cake, dropped my diuretic dose in half, aaand gained a pound. I'm trying not to get too down about it because I figured out the source of my binging and my body will adjust to the diuretic dose. It'll come back off, especially if I keep getting my hiney kicked...

I took a Trauma Nurse Core Course (TNCC) class at work this week. When I first found out I was taking it, I have to admit I thought it was dumb. Why do I need this? It's for ER nurses who deal with trauma! By the time they get to me, the injuries are identified (for the most part) and interventions have been started! But... I REALLY enjoyed the class. I learned a lot and even if I never work in an ER, there's a good chance I'll happen upon an accident situation at some point in my life and I feel better prepared for that. It also kind of changes the way I approach my patients, not just trauma patients. The skills are great to have, I didn't pay for it, and I got paid to go! And I passed. =) Speaking of random certifications... I have to renew my chemo provider cert soon and I'm not sure if I want to. On the one hand, I like having it and I don't REALLY want to take the 2 day class again if I get back into oncology. On the other hand, I don't use it anymore. I'm rusty! And if I keep it... there's a good chance I'll randomly get called into work to give chemo. Ugh. Decisions decisions.

Update on the makeup drama: I LOOOOOVED Youngblood! I went to the mall last weekend after church and told the super nice girl at Beauty Works my plight with makeup. She spent time going over the line, color matching me, putting foundation and setting powder on my face (and teaching me how), and said "ok now wear it for the day to see how it feels, wash it off tonight and see how your face does, and if you like it come back and get it. If you don't like it, no money spent!" How nice of her! I'm going to get it eventually. I maaay have a hookup so it's not so expensive, but I will keep that detail on the down-low. =) And I feel like since she was so helpful I need to go buy SOMETHING from her, even if it's just an eyeliner or some brushes.

Anyway, wish me luck on this coming week! I'm trying for a better weight loss, more gym time, and less high calorie/carb/fat/sugary foods!

Trainer, makeup, oh my!

Wow... long time no post. My weight loss has sucked lately. I decreased my diuretic dose so it could be water, but my deficits have been low too. It's just been an off couple weeks.

I had my first appointment with the trainer at the gym. I actually really liked her. She does figure competitions, rides a Harley, and is hilarious. It makes working out with her fun. Our first session was mostly talking about goals and doing assessments. Apparently, according to my squat assessment, my IT bands are super tight. She showed me some foam rolling self massaging moves and some stretches. Today I am SUPER sore. My upper body hurts from supporting myself during the stretches, my abs hurt from stablizing my middle, and my IT bands hurt from having the crap massaged out of them. Seriously, the sides of my legs feel bruised. HURTS. SO. GOOD. Today I didn't want to go to the gym so I walked around the mall for a while. A while being 2 or 3 hours. I didn't really buy anything, but I did burn some calories!

While on my mall walk, I decided to break down and check out MAC makeup. I know so many people that absolutely love it, so I figured what the hey. Uh... I'm too pale for MAC. Seriously. She tried the lightest shade in all of their formulas and none of them were light enough. IIIII feel really caucasian today. At least I know I'm not the only one! I think I'll give YoungBlood a try. It's more expensive than most things I use, but I figure for the rare occasions I wear makeup, it'll last a while. Well, maybe if I liked the way makeup felt I'd wear it more often. Hmm..

Anyway. I'm off work for about a week, then I have two days of trauma class and then a couple days of work. They called me to work today from 3pm to 7pm, but I didn't get the message until almost 4 (when I finally woke up... don't judge). Maybe tomorrow I'll keep my phone on incase they call me. $$ is good.

It's Friday and I'm so exciting that I'm going to unload the dishwasher, do some stretches, and do some makeup research. I know you wish your lives were as eventful as mine.... Just kidding.

Goal Weight? PSH!

I don't have a weight goal. Everytime I tell someone this, they look at me like i have 2 heads. Why?! How do you not have a goal?! I have my first meeting with a trainer at my new gym next week and I'm curious to hear her response. I DO have goals, but a goal weight just isn't one of them. Let me explain...

The lowest weight I remember being was 170lbs. Obviously, I should weigh less than this at a towering 5'4". I have no idea what I look or (more importantly) FEEL like at a lower weight.

I have PCOS. Last year in 6 months off birth control and trying to conceive, I didn't ovulate at all. In order to have half a chance at getting pregnant on my own, I need to lose weight. So, my first goal is to regulate my PCOS. Decrease my insulin resistance, decrease testosterone, and maybe! ovulate on my own like a normal female. So my first goal can't be measured on a scale. Blood work is the only marker here (I have an appointment with a new OB/GYN at the end of the month and this goal will be discussed in length!).

I'm exercising and watching what I eat to be healthier. Lower my cholesterol, my diabetes risk, etc. I want to FEEL good. I want all my labwork to show a normal, healthy 25 year old!

I want to change my habits in order to teach my kids healthy habits... instead of the fabulously destructive habits I was taught growing up by my mom. Yes, I love her, but her habits were crash dieting (and putting me on crash diets at 7), diet pills, etc. Where did these get her? Diabetes, high blood pressure, hyperlipidemia, etc etc etc. I want to be able to teach my kids that food is a fuel, not a treat or a sin... and that exercise is fun! Not a terrible embarassing chore they make you do in PE.

Also... I want to reduce my risk of injury at work. Nurses have a great risk of back injury at work and I really don't want that. If I'm stronger, leaner, and in general better condition, I'm less likely to have a debilitating injury. In better shape also equals better endurance which equals longer compression time during CPR.

At this point, I'm sure you're asking yourself "then why do you even weigh yourself?" Because when I get to my goal feeling, I want to know what weight that is. THAT will be my idea goal weight and the weight I want to maintain. Also, weight loss is the path to my goals, so it just goes hand in hand. Seeing that I'm 1 or 2 lbs closer in any given week keeps me going and let's me know that I'll get there. Wherever there is.

Anyway, that is my rant about my lack of goal weight. I have many goals but a weight isn't one of them. I'll let you know when I reach my goal feeling and what I happen to weigh at that point.

Sometimes, it's just good to hear.

I had my 3 month evaluation this morning (yeah, i've worked there for almost 6. We're on the ball). Apparently I don't suck as much as I thought. I've had major confidence issues in this job... more than any other job I've had. But this morning I found out that several of the charge nurses I've worked with said they feel I'm doing very well and I ask really good questions. They also said they feel more comfortable giving me sicker (not THE sickest) patients than some people who have been there longer. She really didn't have anything negative to say except my 2 sick calls. It just felt good to hear that from someone in charge.

I'm still losing weight, but this week has been kind of a funk. I haven't worked out at all. I'm still having deficits every day so I shouldn't GAIN weight, but I'm not sure my loss will be that great. I measured Friday though and I AM losing inches. My size smaller jeans look wonderful, btw. =)

Back to work... I think I need another part time job. We've been really low on patients for about a month now and I've gotten asked to be on call or stay home pretty much everytime I'm scheduled to work. There's also been twice where I've had a mandatory low census, meaning I HAVE to stay home even if I don't want to. We rotate that and I can only have 5 in a year, but I've already had 2 in like 2 weeks. Really, if I could afford to work less I would. But at 24hrs a week, when you call me off for a shift it's half of my week! A quarter of my paycheck! I'm glad Brian is back to work and I'm sure we can "get by" even with me getting called off, but we want to GET AHEAD, not just GET BY. I'm going to see about cross training in a different department so I have the option of more hours, but I'm also considering another part time job. hmm...

Anyway. I hope we have more nice days on my days off. I have an appointment to check out a gym on Thursday and I want to take Lucy for a walk at some point. I have all these great aspirations for my days off but I always just end up sleeping during the day then it's dark. I'm going to try to switch my sleep around sooner during this stretch off so maybe I can enjoy my days off!!!

Peace out, blog friends.