Puppies make me cry.

The Daily Puppy just made me cry. It was a little dark red Golden Retriever puppy named... Molly. She looked JUST like my old Molly!!! =(

The Canadian women's figure skater keeps making me cry too.

I think I'm just super tired. AAAAND I'm off for another night of work. I'm curious to see what my weight loss in the next few days ends up being. I've only been eating around 1400 calories and burning close to 3000. On days I work I have a hard time getting all my calories and I burn a lot more than my days off, even when I work out. We shall see... I entered a weight today so whatever I lose I don't get to log yet, but that's ok. Tomorrow I'll measure. Stay tuned! =)

Oh for the love...

You know you're really tired when you put brown sugar in the bowl prepared for oatmeal... then promptly pour milk into the bowl instead of the empty cup next to it.

and I have to tell you how many times I had to fix "bowl" because I typed "bowel" instead. I should've just left it and made you think I was pouring milk into the bowel. mwahaha

On that note, after my Zyrtec and melatonin, I'm going to bed. Ugh. Night shift is poopy.

There's nothing I can put here that will describe the amount of random I'm about to spew...

Prepare yourself for a very random blog.

I'm down to 193.2 now! Woot woot! That's 10lbs lost since starting my Bodybugg adventure and about 40lbs lost in the last year. I'm also down a size (YAY for new jeans that fit!). I've really been wanting sugar though. Cadbury Creme Eggs seem to be my empty carb of choice. I haven't had a lot of sugar in a while and I haven't really missed it, but the last few days I've wanted something sweet. Chocolate Cheerios are my new find and they completely rock my world right now. I've been putting away clothes too... losing weight has made me find a whole new wardrobe. When I was bigger, I didn't buy many clothes because I didn't want to wear anything other than jeans and a sweatshirt. Now, I have this entire closet of clothes and most of them fit! Now, I just have to remember they're there and actually wear them... Oh! And according to the scale that does the body fat % (yes, I know it's likely not accurate, but I can still use it as a guide to know if it's going down). I'm down almost a full %! Woohoo! I feel like I've made lots of strides this week in the weight loss category... especially jumped some mental hurdles (which are certainly the hardest). Another measure that something is going down? My wedding ring is super loose! It's not dangerously loose yet, so I'm not rushing to get it sized. Probably in another month or so it will be time.

We went to church on Sunday. We haven't been to church in a long time and I think it was something I was craving. I met a wonderful woman on the BodyBugg facebook page who happens to live in my area. Her husband is a youth pastor at the church we went to and they invited us to check it out. It's an Assembly of God which is similar to the Foursquare churches that I grew up in. I really liked it. I feel renewed and closer to God which is something I've needed for a while. I hope we can keep going! I think I met a new friend as well. We're close in age, both on a weight loss journey, and are kinda close in weight (she weighs a little less than I do and she certainly works out more than I do!). Anyway, I feel like we clicked and she's someone I could end up being good friends with. She's also great motivation!

I go back to work tonight (Wednesday). After my last 4 days "on" where I was actually on call, I haven't been at work in a really long time it feels like. I have 3 on and a couple off. Next month I'm scheduled to take the Trauma Nurse course which will be super interesting. I'm still not sure I want to stay in this area of nursing but it's alright for now. I keep leaning towards labor and delivery though, which is weird. Oh well... I guess we'll see where I end up!

It's 1:45 AM and I think I'm ready for a short nap. I got up around 4:30pm so it's about that time. =) My schedule is so screwed up. Someday I might be normal again, but not as long as I'm working in a hospital!

Old habits die hard...

Let me preface this by saying that until now, I've tried to keep temptations out of my house. I haven't made cookies. I haven't made cake... simply because I knew I wasn't at a point where I could resist or just have a little bit here and there. I used to wake up from a sleep and eat something, usually something sweet. It's not good to consume 500 of your daily calories BEFORE your even awake. I was also a pretty decent binger.

Last night, my wonderful husband made brownies. The good kind. The soft, triple chocolate kind that are 180 calories each (and you can't eat only one). Ok. Fine. No big deal Cindy. You can handle this! You are stronger than the brownies!

Unless you're half asleep!...

That's right. Last night we worked out around midnight. I had a protein shake, took a shower, had some oatmeal. I went to bed around 3:30-4am. I woke up at 7:30 am... got up to get a drink of water... and there they were. Staring at me on the stove. The brownies. I swear, when you're not fully awake, they smell more heavenly. However, before my brain could process what I was about to do, I ate. 3 of them. Do I remember what they tasted like? Of course not. Do I fully remember eating them? Not really. Ugh.

Apparently I'm not ready to have temptations in my house. I gave half to my sister and my husband is taking the rest with him on his road trip to our home town (I'm staying home). I will stick with the Skinny Cows and 100 calorie pudding cups.

Cindy (the brownie's bitch)

Self sabatoge...

Why do we sabatoge ourselves? I think this happens a lot when it comes to weight loss.

I worked out last night, met my burn for the day, and was feeling good. When I woke up this afternoon (ok, 5pm) and weighed myself, I was down 0.7 lbs from Friday. So what do I do tonight? Eat alfredo with pasta and chicken.. and garlic cheese bread. Then I just felt crappy so I laid down (since I'm on call again), which means my burn for yesterday is very little. My little BodyBugg graph is essentially flat. GRRR.

Puppy of the Day...

I'd just like to say... who else loves my puppy of the day box down in the corner?! I love looking at the cute random puppies every day! I have my OWN cute (and very random) puppy, but somewhere along the line she grew up. The great thing about dogs (vs kids) is that no matter how old dogs get, they still need you. That and the whole not talking back thing. Don't get me wrong, I want to have kids some day, but right now I think my dog is the best kid in the world. =)

This is Lucy and her cow. She loves her cow so much she chewed off his ears, horns, and tail.

Call.

I ended up getting called in at 0330 and I felt like crap. It wasn't bad though. I burned 1100 calories in 4 hours running my tail off trying to keep someone alive. I had a lot of help from my co workers (great crew on this weekend, btw) and I didn't feel freaked out and overwhelmed like I have in the past. Progress? I suppose. My charge was like "I LOVE these patients and I can't wait until you do too!" It felt good that she has enough confidence in me that someday I WILL like those patients.

It's 0910 and I've taken Benadryl 50mg and Melatonin 3mg. I will be taking Sudafed 60mg as well. aaaand goodnight. =) I did this combo yesterday and I was able to get 4 solid hours of sleep breathing through my nose. It was SWEET!

Cold cold go away!

I've been sick since Wednesday and I'm sick of this already. It's just that annoying head cold, but I spend most of my day unable to breathe without sounding like Darth Vader (thanks husband) and my sinuses are killing me. I'm supposed to work my 4 days on (12hr shifts) this weekend but they called to put me on call tonight. Now let's all pray I don't get called in! I don't mind being on call, but then the idea of "what will they call me in for?!" pops into my head. Will I get a trauma? A cardiac arrest? A young OD? Or something easier like a diabetic ketoacidosis or a vented something or another? It's the fear of the unknown.

In other news, I'm on this weight loss journey and so far it's been good. I've revamped the eating habits (I can't eat fatty or super processed things anymore without getting ill) and I've been steadily losing. We just started doing measurements this week too, so hopefully I'll see some losses there as well. This week I only lost 0.8 lbs. My goal was 1.5lbs so the BodyBugg program told me I didn't meet my goals. My over all goal is ahead of progress though. I blame being sick. I spent several days VERY sedentary and eating high sodium things like soup. My burn was only like 1900 calories so my deficit was low. Back on track next week!

Goals for next week:
Workout more than twice.
Increase the protein.
Decrease the carbs.
Get those stupid Skinny Cow things out of my house so I stop eating them several times a day!
Did I mention workout more than twice? Because I really need to do that.

Alright, I'm going to go throw away my pile of Kleenexes and love my dog.

Cindy

And it begins...

I've resisted starting a blog for some time now. Mostly because I don't think I'm interesting enough and no one will care about my day to day ramblings. However, I need a place to put these ramblings because the little corner of my head is full. I'm really bad about coming up with clever things if nothing interesting has happened, so you've been warned.

Cindy